Human
by Lia-Osaka92
Summary: Someone was calling him. "If you do it you won't be human anymore!" Ishida was calling him. One-Shot IchiIshi Angst


**Human**

"Kurosaki… Kurosaki!"

Someone was calling him.

"Kurosaki! If you do it, you won't be a human anymore!"

Ishida was calling him.

"KUROSAKI!"

A loud yell, an explosion and a crash. And then he opened his eyes to find Ishida lying on the ground with Tensa Zangetsu piercing his body. The black blade stood out against the white Quincy outfit like an ugly impurity and the red blood leaking from the wound spread over the fabric like a deadly disease.

He could hear Ishida calling his name once again before everything went black again.

* * *

><p>Ichigo Kurosaki woke up with a start. Panting, he gave his eyes a minute to adjust to the darkness and take in his surroundings. When he was sure that he was in his own bedroom, he let out a deep breath and unclenched his fists, that had been holding on to the sheets as if for dear life.<p>

It had been just a nightmare. _That_ nightmare, once again. The same nightmare that had been plaguing his sleep over and over since that day.

He thought of washing his face to take that horrifying feeling off of him, but then he thought he'd see himself in the mirror and find the guilt reflected on his eyes. And so he lied down in the darkness, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>Barely six months had passed since Sosuke Aizen was defeated and sealed away, six months since Ichigo lost his powers and the ability to see spirits. There were times in which he wondered if he hadn't dreamt of all that too. Rukia, the Soul Society, Aizen, the Espada, hearing his own voice calling forth his Bankai… everything seemed part of a distant past that was slowly fading away.<p>

He glanced distractedly out the window, catching a glimpse of Class 2's P.E. lesson. He sighed. Somehow, his life had started to feel more normal than what he could stand.

No. That wasn't right. He was not normal. Nothing was normal at all. And whenever those thoughts came to his mind, whenever he started considering that everything was part of the past, that he could forget it and leave it all behind, that scene of white, black and red came immediately to his memory.

As the bell for lunch rang, Ichigo heard a sudden noise coming from the hallway. He could barely catch the silhouette of the Quincy quickly dashing out of the school building

_There's no way _anything_ can ever be normal again._

* * *

><p>Tying up his shoelace, Ichigo was about to leave the locker room when the door opened and Ishida came walking through it. His hair was slightly disheveled and his face was glistening with sweat, but nobody would be able to tell that he had just come back from risking his life in battle. Ichigo cringed at the thought.<p>

"Oh, it's just you, Kurosaki. I didn't know you had joined the soccer club." Ishida commented, eyeing his outfit with mild curiosity.

"I didn't. I'm just helping them out since one of their members is sick. I… the hell are you doing?" Ichigo snapped and his eyes widened like saucers as he noticed how the Quincy in front of him started to undress.

Ishida raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm getting changed. These clothes got dirty earlier and I don't want anyone in the Handicrafts Club asking questions." He replied nonchalantly as he unbuttoned his shirt revealing his pale-skinned torso.

Ichigo's eyes followed the contours of the Quincy's body and his flawless skin. Suddenly, his expression darkened and he felt sick. Without uttering another word, he rushed out of the room.

He didn't stop running until he was out of breath. He leaned on a wall panting, hoping for his convoluted stomach to fall back into place.

He tried closing his eyes to get the vision out of his head. But the image had been imprinted in his retinas and was now permanently painted on his mind. That vision of perfect skin marred with an ugly, big, dark scar right in the middle of the abdomen. Just like the white clothes tainted in red blood, pierced by the black blade.

It all came back to the white, the red and the black, over and over again. Ishida was white and flawless. He was the black and the red spreading his infection and tainting everything that came close to him.

"_If you do it you won't be a human anymore!"_

Maybe he wasn't.

* * *

><p>Ichigo hadn't known how much he feared his own reflection until he saw it on Ishida's eyes and he saw guilt and fear and a monster with long hair and a hole in its chest. He wanted to stop looking right that instant.<p>

"Is something the matter, Kurosaki? You don't seem yourself recently"

"I... I'm..."

He couldn't keep looking. He had to get away, escape from the haunting image of white, red and black, of tainted pale skin. But something held his wrist firmly and stopped him in his tracks. And he didn't need to ask, because he knew perfectly well whose hand that was.

"You have been avoiding me lately. I don't particularly enjoy your company, but even I can see that something is going on."

Ishida's eyes were hard and cold but his eyebrows were slightly arched with concern. The hand holding Ichigo's wrist was warm. Ichigo's knees were shaking, he suddenly felt all the weight of guilt fall on his shoulders, heavier than ever. He used his free hand to touch his chest, suddenly fearing that a hole had appeared there.

"Kurosaki?... Kurosaki!"

_"If you do it you won't be human anymore! KUROSAKI!"_

A single tear spilled down the corner of his eye.

"Am I... am I still human?" he muttered quietly.

There was a moment of silence and Ishida let go of his wrist. As if he was drained of all his energy, Ichigo's legs finally gave in and he fell on his knees, still shaking.

The silence seemed to go on for an excruciating eternity. And then suddenly, as if broken by a loud spontaneous bang, Ichigo felt a hard, painful punch on his cheekbone that made him fall on his back.

"Kurosaki, you idiot!" Ishida yelled with his fist raised as if ready to deliver a new punch. "What are you bringing up now, after all this time? The past should be left in the past, learn from it, and move on!"

The Quincy kneeled down next to him and fisted the collar of his shirt, forcing Ichigo to look him in the eyes. The former Shinigami substitute tried to say something, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a low senseless stutter.

"What is this pitiful display about? This is not like you. " Ishida pushed his glasses up his nose with his middle finger and huffed angrily. "And you're completely mistaken if you're expecting me to give you comforting and reassuring words. Stand back up and go back to your idiotic self already!"

And as suddenly as he had punched him, Ishida placed a quick, soft kiss on Ichigo's lips, muttering a single 'Idiot' before leaving.

Ichigo stared at the spot where Ishida had just been, completely befuddled by what had just transpired in the last four minutes. And then, without noticing it, a small smile drew itself on his lips.

He was sure that he wouldn't get any more nightmares.

**End**

I wrote this for the LJ Bleachness IchiIshi contest (and I won, which is probably the most awesome shit that has ever happened to me in my whole life). It's inspired the fanart "I'm sorry" by rocknyx (I'll link to it in my profile, pinky promise). I've always loved IchiIshi a lot, because there's a lot of shit going on between them. They share a very special bond and have fought back-to-back more than once. And I love Ishida's tsundere-ish nature. In my mind, Ishida totally tops Ichigo BD

Will deeply appreciate reviews and comments!


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